Watch Me Grow

Today was such a goregous day! My mom went out and bought one of those roll and grow flowers a couple days ago so I asked Dave if he would help me put them in our flower bed. And he is so wonderful that he dug up all the weeds and raked out the soil. I rolled out the flower seeds and we watered the crap out of the bed. Its gonna look gorgeous in 10-14 days!

Gardening always reminds me of new opportunities and chance for growth. And its fitting that I decided to plant these seeds because lately I have been reevaluating my life and wanting to grow as a person. I look at old pictures of myself and realize that that girl in the pictures is a stranger to me now. I used to be outgoing, active and ready for anything. Now I barely live a life! I want change and I'm determined to get it. I'm ready to be a better me and branch out my life. I think starting this blog was a good first step for me cause it made me start thinking. Thinking about what to write and thinking about my life. School will be another good step for me. I start my esthetics's classes in September and I know it will be a well needed change. In school I always shined-I love learning and in high school I maintained very good grades. I was a cheerleader and in FCCLA. I loved being involved with school projects and activities and I know it will be no different this time around. Last time I was in college I did really well. I had one of the highest G.P.A.s in school and I loved all my teachers. Xenon was like a second home and I can't wait to go back! I also would like to find a small part time job-that is the scary thing for me. My anxiety is so bad that interviews are awful for me. When I get to the job location and actually sit down for the interview I'm fine but before I am a bucket of nerves! But maybe a small restaurant or a little retail store would be good. A way for me to make a little money and feel good about myself. Jobs are hard to come by but fast food or restaurants are always in need for more help. My husband and I have also decided we need to move into our own place again. I love my mom and my sisters as I have stated in my last post but living in someone else's space is nearly impossible. So we have started looking for a small rental home. I can't wait to be amidst my own stuff again, putting up my pictures and nick-knacks and organizing my stuff. I love to organize. Everything has a place and every place needs a thing-as I like to say. The last thing I plan to do is make a list-I am a big list maker. One that details what I would like to improve about myself.
This whole new journey will take a long time and it will be difficult at times but I know it will make me much happier. Just like the new seeds in my flower bed; I can't wait to see myself, my life and my future grow!